• her: come over
  • me: i can't my dog just fell asleep on my lap
  • her: my parents aren't home
  • me: he is ASLEEP


everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19


the most aggravating fans are the ones that become huge fans of a villainous character but just can’t handle the fact that the villainous character does villainous things and instead said fans invent a million assbackwards headcanons about how the villain is TOTALLY not a villain at all and is some tragic blob where nothing is their fault even up to and including murder and genocide

i am just so baffled by this


*sends u snapchat of just myself with no caption to show u I’m lookin good*


dj roomba is literally the greatest thing thats ever happened to me

  • fav character: [kills someone]
  • me: aw
posted 1 day ago

my sister’s mad that i dont wanna go where i work, bc theres an event i helped set up like i spend like 8 hours a day there i dont wanna go back until i have to

posted 1 day ago with 2 notes
Anonymous asked: "Are you still dating m"

yeah sorta, were trying to work things out with trust and all that, so far things have been good. although im super busy with work and other things in my life

so yeah its a bit complicated haha, nonetheless we’re still together 





so today in the dressing room there was this hot guy in his underwear so i decided to take a picture of his bulge and i forgot my fucking flash was on… finish the story yourself

thats a lil creepy

i hope he called the police 

stop doing shit like this god

tf is up with these people geez


*saves game*

*presses exit game*

"Do you want to save your game before you exit?"

"I should just in case" 




Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Gemini: fake
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Libra: basic
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Capricorn: bitter
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself

clean your fingernails… bye